Followed My Mom’s Example and Waited Until 37 to Have Kids; No Regrets | Invesloan.com

Growing up, I knew my mother was older than most other moms at school pick-up. She had me when she was 38, and while age doesn’t necessarily define a person, she was noticeably different from my friends’ younger moms.

She wasn’t fazed by playground politics or the relentless pressure to keep up appearances, for example. Instead, she brought a matter-of-fact presence to parenting that I think largely came from being older.

She often told me when I was growing up not to rush into marriage and kids. She encouraged me to wait as long as I needed, and to make sure I had my own experiences before taking on the all-encompassing role of motherhood.

I listened, and I’m so glad I did.

I waited until I was 37 to have my first child, not because I was trying to mirror my mom’s exact path, but because I genuinely believed that waiting would make me a better parent, and I believe it has.

I focused my first 15 years of adulthood on myself

I grew up in the Midwest and moved to New York right after college at the age of 22. I spent my 20s meeting amazing people, advancing my career, and exploring the wonderful life New York had to offer.

I also traveled the world. Since I wasn’t responsible for anyone but myself, I really took advantage of trips with friends, including hiking the Inca Trail in Peru and exploring Patagonia in Chile.

I dated a lot of different types of people and said yes more than no to just about any experience.

I met my now husband when I was 29, but we didn’t get married until I was 35. For 15 years of my adulthood, I had my travels, a plethora of career experiences, and friendships I’d nurtured for decades.

Yes, I faced judgment for waiting to have kids

Of course, choosing to start a family later isn’t without challenges. My doctor warned me about the challenges of trying to get pregnant in my late 30s and the increased chance of things going wrong. There was also occasional judgment from those well-intentioned in the community who couldn’t understand my timeline.

However, I leaned on my mother’s example. Her grace, resilience, and the bond we share that’s deepened with time helped me stay true to the path I felt was best for me.

Now, as I navigate motherhood myself, I see so much of her in how I parent. I don’t panic over every milestone or stress about being the “perfect” mom.

When I have to give up things, like nights out with friends because the kids are sick or canceled vacations because of the kids’ soccer schedule, I’m not resentful. I feel like I did so much before having them that I cherish the time we’re together.

In an age of helicopter parenting, I’m much more hands-off. I grew up with a mom who gave me a lot of space to make my own decisions — even bad ones — and I try and do that with my own kids.

There are real benefits to becoming a mom later in life

For one, I know myself better. I’m more confident in who I am, less concerned with the opinions of others, and more attuned to what really matters. I don’t feel the pressure to compete with other parents or chase perfection.

Financially speaking, being older has also been a blessing. I spent my 20s and early-to-mid 30s building a career, paying off debt, and establishing a solid foundation. I’m not saying I have everything figured out, no parent does, but I can provide stability in a way I couldn’t have 10 or 15 years ago. That security, both emotional and practical, makes parenting less stressful and more joyful.

Emotionally, I feel more prepared to handle the ups and downs of motherhood. I’ve weathered enough storms in my life to know that bad days don’t last forever and that challenges often lead to growth. I don’t panic over every fever or question my instincts at every turn. That calmness helps me parent with intention rather than reactivity — something I deeply admired in my own mother.

I feel incredibly grateful for the path I chose. Waiting to have children wasn’t just about timing; it was about becoming the kind of person I wanted to be before bringing new lives into the world. My mother showed me that motherhood isn’t a race — it’s a journey best traveled with patience, perspective, and a strong sense of self.