Wedding Gifts Have Gotten Complicated, and Guests Are Confused | Invesloan.com

When Brooke Bowman Boone, 29, got married in January, it was the day of her dreams.

She carried a vibrant bouquet down the aisle toward her new husband, and her guests danced under disco balls all night. People still tell her it was one of the most fun weddings they’d ever attended.

Months later, though, one thing still surprises the North Carolina native: 27 people — nearly 20% of her guest list — didn’t bring a gift to celebrate her big day.

“It was shocking,” she said. “We couldn’t even receive a card? That would have been nice. It just felt like a slap in the face.”

For better or worse, she’s not the only bride facing a modern problem: giving and receiving wedding gifts has gotten complicated.

Wedding guests are confused and overwhelmed

Naturally, my colleagues and I were grumbling about a busy wedding season when we landed on the topic of gifts. While some of us were shelling out $300 cash alongside registry presents, others opted for $100 bills tucked into cards.

We were, to say the least, concerned. Were some of us spending too little? Were others giving over-the-top gifts? At least we gave gifts, right?

A quick social-media search showed we’re not alone in our confusion.

On TikTok, people have questioned if there’s an average or “normal” amount of cash everyone should gift at weddings these days. Others on Reddit have asked where registry items enter the equation.

Unfortunately, there’s no clear winning answer among average internet users. Some commenters say $50 cash is sufficient, while others say your gift — whether in the form of money or a present — should cost no less than $500.

Chelsea Fagan, the founder of The Financial Diet and author of “Having People Over,” told Business Insider that the uncertainty partially stems from the modern “inflation of the entire wedding process.”

Whereas the average wedding was once small, local, and contained to a single day, it’s now bigger, more luxurious, and comprised of multiple events, from multiday bachelor trips to welcome parties.

“We’re really opening our pockets to an unsustainable degree for weddings,” the finance and etiquette writer said.

In April, Credit Karma surveyed 1,106 American Gen Zers and millennials and found that 38% took on debt to attend weddings in the past year. BI has also reported that some people have spent over $10,000 to attend multiple ceremonies and receptions in less than three years.

Gifts are only a small part of that equation, but they’re expensive nonetheless. In an email to BI, Lauren Kay, the executive editor of The Knot, said a 2025 study from the publication shows that the average wedding guest spends $150 on a gift.

Brides say they’re getting the short end of the stick

Bowman Boone and her husband lived together for more than two years before getting married, so they didn’t need to put an extensive registry together. Instead, they asked guests to contribute to a honeymoon fund.

While the couple was thrilled to receive many cash and online deposits, Bowman Boone said their guests’ efforts mattered most.

“We did have people [in different financial situations], and I didn’t look at any of them differently if they didn’t give us a financial or physical gift,” she told BI.

“At the end of the day, everyone coming to my wedding was a gift in itself,” she added. “I wanted everyone we invited to be there and celebrate us.”

Still, it stung when some family members and guests arrived without cards. Bowman Boone said it felt like her efforts as a host hadn’t been reciprocated, and she couldn’t understand why.

Brides on social media have expressed similar disappointments after their weddings.

“When we had 120 people at our wedding and we only received 12 cards and four gifts,” one TikToker said in a recent viral video.

Lauren Ladouceur attends weddings for a living. She’s a leader in destination-wedding content creation, which involves attending weddings all over the world to capture high-quality iPhone content that couples can post on their social media pages.

She told BI that no matter why some guests choose not to give gifts, it can still bother brides and grooms — sometimes even before their wedding day.

“I’ve had couples come to me and say, ‘How do I get people to donate to my honeymoon fund? How do I get people to buy from my registry? Nothing’s coming in,'” Ladouceur said. “As we’ve moved away from tradition, which I ultimately think is a good thing, that transactional side to weddings is an unintended consequence.”

There’s a solution, and both parties have a role

Maybe unsurprisingly, every person I spoke with felt differently about what to gift, when to present it, and how much to spend. However, there seemed to be a few general rules of thumb that would be helpful to follow.

Fagan said couples getting married should stay “conscientious about what they’re asking of people” and consider how expensive weddings are to attend, especially if a guest is in their bridal party or attending other weddings that year.

“You have every right to ask for everything you want, but your guests also have a right to say no,” she said.

For wedding guests, give what you can and don’t worry about following popular societal rules, like matching the cost of your food at a wedding.

“Your $150 is not covering your plate, just in terms of what weddings cost in any high-cost-of-living city, which I think is most cities these days,” Ladouceur said.

Fagan added: “For every aspect of wedding attendance, you need to be very candid about what you can and can’t do, and not feel guilty for setting reasonable boundaries around your finances.”

If you’re traveling to attend a wedding, she said it’s sufficient to hand-make a gift or simply give a card — so long as your care and efforts are clear.

What couples ultimately want, Ladouceur said, is “to know you’re excited for them.”

“It’s less that people remember what gift you gave, and more that they remember how you showed up for them,” she added.