- My husband and I have always had a good relationship with our grandsons.
- We see them at least once a year and we connect through spending time outdoors and writing together.
- They’re 19 and 21, and we feel lucky that despite their ages, they still want to spend time with us.
One afternoon a few months ago, my 19-year-old grandson, Riley, and I were deep into a card game my parents taught my sibs and me when we were kids. I had taught it to Riley and his 21-year-old brother, Colin, only a year earlier, but now I was faced with a worthy adversary and had to carefully strategize my every move. Even so, he caught me in an error. Within minutes, it was game over.
“It’s not fair!” I wailed. “I’ve been playing this my whole life, and you just learned!” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Maybe next time I should let you win,” he teased. “Don’t you dare condescend to me!” I said.
We were in White Rock, BC, a Canadian seaside town a couple of miles north of the US border and about an hour from our grandsons’ home. They live over 1,100 miles from us near Vancouver, British Columbia, where my husband Barry and I met, while we divide our lives between Eureka, California, and Guanajuato, Mexico.
Even with the distance between us, we manage to spend time together once or twice a year, and we always enjoy each other’s company (unless, of course, they’re beating us in card games!).
We do a variety of things together
Playing card games with Colin and Riley is just one of the activities we enjoy when we’re all together. Over the last eight years, our pattern has been to rent an Airbnb within an hour or two of their home, either in BC or in northwest Washington. During the next couple of days, we spend our time taking walks, going out for lunch, playing cutthroat card games, writing together on a common theme, reading aloud what we wrote, and more.
Because I like to cook, when we first started making these visits, I assumed I’d make dinner for all of us. Ha! Little did I know. They were teenagers with adolescent palates — a far cry from Barry’s and my meatless preferences. So I gave up on that, and we usually just buy pizza.
We do different things in different locations. For several years, Barry and I would rent an Airbnb in Bellingham, WA, where we used to live and still have friends. During one stay, we realized that the boys had never used public transit before. Time for them to be introduced to buses! We took a city bus from near our rental to Fairhaven, a historic area at the other end of town, where we visited a bookstore, wandered around the Amtrak station and ferry terminal, and had lunch. Then we took the bus back.
Other times, we’ve played Frisbee, hiked, had fun with Barry’s drone, and watched Colin (who, in his high school years, climbed competitively) shimmy up trees. We spend a lot of time outside because, as Riley said, “You guys like nature.” His comment made me laugh. Is it that odd to like nature?
Courtesy of Louisa Rogers
We share how we feel through writing
Writing together is a real treat. Some of our prompts have been: “What I’ll remember about this visit,” “My favorite place we’ve stayed,” “My opinion of the last movie I watched,” and “What I plan for in 2023.” In the beginning, Barry or I offered the prompt, but now our grandsons also offer them.
On the second morning of our stay, Barry takes Riley out for breakfast (Colin likes to sleep in), and they have a one-on-one conversation. For instance, last year, they discussed the fact that Riley was considering switching from community college to a trade school, where he would train to become a plumber. Canada is a very expensive country, and like many of his peers, he was daunted by the prospect of earning a living in a high-cost environment.
A few years ago, they visited us in Mexico. We were a bit worried about them — navigating Immigration and Customs at the enormous, busy Mexico City airport, not to mention switching from the international to the domestic terminal to fly from Mexico City to Guanajuato, where we live part of the year. With zero language skills! They had flown internationally once before but with their parents. We were delighted, though, that they managed fine, and thrilled to introduce them to a culture completely different from their own.
A year ago, we all wrote from the prompt, “None of us is getting any younger!” Indeed, both young men now have girlfriends. So who knows how long our Airbnb adventures will last? But for now, all four of us look forward to our visits together. And Barry and I couldn’t feel more flattered. It’s one thing when your 5 and 7-year-old grandchildren enjoy your company, but when they’re 21 and 19? We’re honored that they enjoy hanging out with us as much as we do with them.
