This story is based on an interview with Brian Mazza, 41, who has appeared on the cover of “Men’s Health.” Mazza was recently named “Champion for Male Fertility Advocacy” by the World Fertility Awards. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
Before we got married in 2014, my wife, Chloe Melas, a journalist, and I were very much aligned on wanting children in the future. It’s a huge step for anybody in a relationship, but we agreed that it would be great to start a family together.
Then, around a year after the wedding, we tried to get pregnant — without success.
The sense of disappointment each month was challenging and disheartening. Like anything else in life you want to accomplish, it becomes frustrating when it’s not working out.
It wasn’t ideal for both of us and caused a lot of issues, which weren’t fun. It was a strain and kind of brutal.
The test to determine my sperm count felt awkward
Fortunately, we were able to find a good, straight-talking doctor who ran a series of tests. Chloe was found to have a diminished ovarian reserve, but they wanted to check me out, too.
It was awkward and strange. Everybody in the waiting room knew why you were there, which was fine, but then you were ushered into a room next to the secretary’s desk. It felt a bit strange.
My test was back in 2016. Thankfully, there are now a lot of companies that allow you to sort everything out in your own home.
Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Reform Alliance
The results showed I had a low sperm count, which proved to be the primary cause of the issues. If someone asked if I felt guilty, embarrassed, or was worried that Chloe was resentful toward me, I’d answer yes.
I was extremely fit, eating well, and doing everything to meet the expectations of an elite performer in life. I thought, “What is getting in the way of this goal?”
I began to wonder if I’d done something in the past that was responsible. It wasn’t the case, but I wanted to look at the full road map.
I went to every appointment with the fertility doctor
Then, since I’ve always been a problem solver and a reverse engineer, I thought, “How can we approach the situation?”
We had no luck with intrauterine insemination (IUI) and moved on to IVF. The process was pretty easy from a male perspective because you are physically removed.
Still, I went to every doctor’s appointment to listen to the advice. It was hard to see Chloe go through what she did, but we tried to focus on the end result.
We didn’t share our journey with family or friends at the time. It was to protect the situation and not feel like we were letting people down.
Courtesy of Brian Mazza.
Thankfully, we got pregnant on our first round of IVF. We were thrilled, and it turned into elation when our son, Leo, was born in July 2017.
We went through the same process, and Luke arrived exactly two years later.
I advocate for increased awareness of male factor infertility
Holding Leo and Luke in my arms was every dream that I’d ever dreamed. I’d wanted to become a father so much.
I’m speaking up about male factor infertility because it’s a topic that should be openly discussed. I hope that I’m helping to remove the stigma. It’s useful when someone who has been through an experience like ours can share their story.
As the years pass, I find myself gazing at my boys — now 8 and 6 — with joy and wonder. They’re bright, athletic, and kind. Chloe and I call them our miracles.
