I’m a traditionalist when it comes to dating and meeting someone organically. I never thought I’d go on a dating app — I always thought those relationships never worked out for people.
Now I know that’s not true.
After breakups, I thought my friends would be the ones encouraging me to go on dating apps, but it was actually my family.
In 2021, my mom and my aunts helped me set up my Hinge and Bumble profiles. We went through all of my pictures to pick the best ones and to find the best prompts for me. My mom and my aunts know me better than most people do and knew I was looking for a guy who would appreciate my sense of humor.
They told me that the best way to get over the breakup blues is to put yourself out there, and that’s exactly what I did.
I went on some good dates and a lot of bad dates
Nikos Pekiaridis/NurPhoto via Getty Images
Before meeting my boyfriend, I went on about 15 to 20 dates. My experience on dating apps wasn’t all good, but it was all worth it in the end.
When I was on the apps, before agreeing to a date, I would have a “video chat” with the guy — sort of like a mini-interview — to see if they were legit and sounded fun to go out with. I was nervous that I would get catfished.
Occasionally, I’d get frustrated when some of the guys I talked to weren’t looking for a real relationship — even though my profile said I was — or would ghost me.
If that happened, I’d take a break from the app. My boyfriend makes fun of me now because when he came across my profile, it took me a week to reply.
I did things differently when I met my boyfriend
Amanda Geffner
When I met my boyfriend, we only texted on Hinge and iMessages, but I didn’t do a phone interview. I asked him for one, but he just wanted to talk in person.
I always liked having a conversation before going out with anyone, but something about my boyfriend felt different. When we texted, it felt like I’d known him for a while, and a week after we first started messaging, I was comfortable meeting him without knowing what his voice sounded like.
It gave us more room for conversation. We found we have a lot in common and really opened up to each other on our first date.
Before this, I thought phone interviews were a good way to avoid wasting my time, but I’m glad I took a chance and just trusted the typical process.
My family gave me great dating advice
Before I went on a date, my cousin gave me one of the best pieces of dating advice I’ve ever heard: Think of a first date as a job interview — where you’re the boss. Let them try to wow you and tell you why they are interested in you. That really stuck with me while I was dating.
My mom also told me not to cry over past boyfriends because they’re just practice until you find the one who’s right for you.
Let’s just say my boyfriend more than passed the first round of interviews. Three years later, we’re still together, and my family loves him.
Looking back, I am glad they pushed me to download Hinge and Bumble, even though it might sound unconventional. I didn’t want to join in the first place, but Hinge gave me not only my boyfriend, but my best friend.
