This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Meghan Soman, a 41-year-old contract events consultant who previously served as the director of events and trade marketing at a cinema advertising company. She is based in Long Island. Her identity and background have been verified by Business Insider. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I started working at a cinema advertising company in 2007 and eventually became the director of events and trade marketing.
When the CEO held a virtual town hall in 2020 and said there needed to be layoffs, I knew I would be one of the first to go because I served zero purpose at that point. Nobody was going to events or getting together.
Roughly 15 minutes after that meeting, I got a phone call from my boss and he laid of me off.
The president of sales at the time called me and told me they wanted to bring me in as a consultant to help with smaller virtual events. He said it wouldn’t be a lot of money, but they loved me and wanted to keep me on. So I did consulting work for them for the next year and a half.
They hired me back full-time in 2022 and I worked there until January 2024. Then I was laid off again, a week after coming back from maternity leave for my son.
A gut punch
The second layoff was a gut punch. I had an hourlong meeting on the books with my boss, and I thought we were going to plan out our year. I had just finished my personal assessment and was going to ask for a promotion. I walked into the meeting with my laptop and notebook, ready to get back to work. Then I saw the HR in the room.
It was such a rush of emotion. By the time I got back to my desk, I had been locked out already. I know that’s protocol for a lot of layoffs, but it hurt. I called my husband in the building lobby and had a bit of a breakdown. Then I went home and sat on my couch in shock.
The first layoff was easier because the entire world was in the same boat. The second time, even though it was part of a larger layoff, it messed with my head.
It hurt more to be included in this layoff because I had gone on maternity leave and given them a 10-page playbook on how to do my job. It made me wonder if it would have happened if I hadn’t done that?
I was looking for event jobs after the layoff, but I wasn’t hearing back from 99% of the companies I applied to. It got to a point where I thought maybe I wasn’t meant to do that job anymore. I thought I failed at events, and that led me to take a completely different kind of role that fell into my lap.
My cousin’s next-door neighbor had an independent record label and hired me as a bookkeeper. I did that for a year and a half. It was cool to learn a completely different industry and I love live music — but it was not the role I was meant to be doing.
I stayed longer than I should have because my boss was an easygoing guy, and he understood if daycare called and I had to pick up my kid. But I realized I’m meant to do events. It’s what I love.
Don’t let layoffs deter you
I felt a sense of loyalty to the company and I thought that there was a sense of loyalty to long-term employees. Once the fog cleared, though, I realized it was a different group, different management, and different circumstances than when I started.
I understand now that it’s a company — and their main goal is to make money and appease shareholders. It sucks, and it still hurts every once in a while, but I’ve moved on.
It feels personal, and it is. It’s your livelihood, and it’s something that, in my case, I thought I was meant to be doing. But they’re just looking to trim the fat. You have to accept that and compartmentalize it.
It took me a couple of years to realize I did not fail at events — and people shouldn’t let a layoff deter them from what they want to do. I know now that I was part of a layoff and these things happen. Now I’m trying again.
