In my early 30s, I was living the quintessential DINK (dual-income, no kids) lifestyle. My partner and I had established careers, no children, and PTO to burn.
During one 12-month period, we averaged taking a trip every other month. We went hiking in Acadia National Park and Arizona. We rented a house with a pool and went biking around Sanibel Island in Florida. We explored Joshua Tree National Park, attempted a 14er in Colorado, and visited four different national parks in Washington State.
My husband and I were always on the same page about wanting a child, eventually, but I was worried that having a family would bring our adventurous lifestyle to a screeching halt. Luckily, I was wrong.
I thought having a kid would end our adventures
Before trying to get pregnant, I planned a last hurrah for us as a childless couple. We road-tripped around Mexico, exploring ancient Mayan ruins, swimming in cenotes, and sipping various permutations of agave beverages.
Courtesy of Renate Flanagan.
I got pregnant a few months later.
Once I was expecting, I worried that my due date was an expiration date for freedom. Fortunate that my nausea and fatigue during pregnancy were mild, I squeezed in two more hiking trips. I went to the Canadian Rockies, Zion, and Bryce Canyon.
The week before I gave birth, I joined my husband for dinner with a group of his colleagues. One of the women at the dinner was the mother of a toddler. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Enjoy this, because you’re never going out to eat again.” I wanted to believe that my lifestyle wouldn’t be over because I had a baby, but here was another mother saying exactly what I was afraid to hear.
There were other possibilities
Thankfully, I had other parenting role models who showed me differently. My own mom traveled around Europe with me the summer before I turned 1. I have family friends who moved internationally with two young kids and travel multiple times a year. Personally knowing people who traveled with kids opened my mind to the possibility that I could do it too.
Courtesy of Renate Flanagan.
We brought our son on his first hike when he was three weeks old. In the first year, he visited family in Atlanta, hiked in Oregon, saw the leaves changing in New England, spent Christmas in Belgium, and played in sand dunes with his uncle in Saudi Arabia. He took nine flights before he turned two years old.
Some things definitely did change after having a kid
The first few months of being a mom with a newborn were intense. I was sleep-deprived for the first year after my son was born. My days of sleeping in have disappeared, at least in this season of my life where my son gets up around daybreak.
Courtesy of Renate Flanagan.
We travel as much as we always have, but there’s a lot more baggage, in the form of a car seat and baby hiking backpacks. While we don’t follow a strict schedule, my husband and I still have to factor in setting aside time for our son to take a nap while we’re traveling.
More on the DINK lifestyle
While our household is still dual-income, we definitely notice the difference in paying $2,600 a month for our son’s daycare, which is about the same as our rent. We go out to eat as a family, but dedicate one night a month to a date night at a fancy restaurant as a couple.
Having a kid has made personal time much harder to come by, but my husband and I support each other in having time to do individual activities once or twice a week. Parenting can be expensive and tiring, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Seeing my son appreciate nature and be energized by new experiences, people, and places is more rewarding than I ever expected.
