I didn’t think parking spaces would have a particularly big impact on my life, but ultimately, it was the thought of not having to parallel park on the street every day that made me realize I was going to move back to the town I grew up in.
My partner and I were trying to buy our first home together and hoped to stay in Oxford, the city where we had lived for the past five years.
I was speaking to a real estate agent about what we were looking for, and he raised his eyebrows slightly when I told him our budget. He told me that if I wanted an off-street parking space within our budget, we needed to consider smaller towns outside the city.
There was one town which we knew very well, as I’d grown up living there, 25 minutes away. My parents lived there, and we went back often, so my hometown was the obvious choice for our move.
At first, I resisted the idea of moving back home
Initially, I was resistant because I felt moving back was a cop-out. I’d remembered growing up feeling bored and like I couldn’t wait to move somewhere else, but when the agent showed us what we could get for our budget — a house, with parking and a garden, rather than a tiny flat with no outside space – the maths and the logistics started making sense.
We were planning to start a family in the not-too-distant future, and I wanted to put down roots so the prospect of being close to my parents and a place I knew was appealing to me. We decided to go for it, and 12 years later, I’m now raising my own kids in the same town where I grew up.
People know me from when I was little
I’ve learned that raising kids in your hometown is a unique experience. Lots of people know you from when you were young, and it can sometimes feel like you have gone back in time.
Courtesy of the author
It’s weird dropping my kids off for clubs at my old school, and even weirder when I see people who I went to school with dropping off their own kids on the school run. I still feel like we’re the kids, not the parents. And sometimes I cringe knowing that people know my past mistakes or what I was like as an awkward teenager.
When my kids were small, I thought I might have made a mistake. I worried it was very unadventurous, and I didn’t have as much access to culture, jobs, and city life. My town is quite small and quiet, and I miss living in a city, the architecture, services, and atmosphere.
For a while, I considered moving to the coast or back to the city. But as we’ve all gotten older — my kids are now 7 and 9 — I have realized how lucky I am.
Being close to my parents has made a huge difference
As my kids have grown up, being close to my parents and seeing them regularly has made a big difference in my life. My son is autistic, and it’s hard to find childcare — but parents are able to help us out a lot. Proximity means we can all help each other with caregiving, and it has made my life much easier.
I’m now grateful that both my kids and I get to spend time with my parents so easily, and glad of the family support network I have around me.
Living where you grew up has other benefits, too. I’m still close with some of my old friends who have stayed local, too, and I love seeing them. I also have lots of hometown knowledge and know where the best places to eat, play, and visit are.
I have learned to love where I live and have put down my own roots here as an adult rather than a child. I have made new friends and feel a part of the community in the part of town where I now live.
There are downsides, like a lack of culture, but it’s not hard to hop on the bus or train, and I am happy to travel for events and trips in exchange for the benefits.
I’ve realized there’s no perfect living arrangement, but it’s a constant weighing up of the pros and cons of where you are physically with where you are in life. For me right now, the downsides are well worth the benefits of hometown living – and the fact that I rarely have to parallel park turned out to be just a cherry on the top.
