I Burned Out After Juggling Cancer and an MBA. a Sabbatical Healed Me. | Invesloan.com

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Matilda Narulita, the cofounder of Nexmedis, a healthtech AI startup based in Indonesia. The story has been edited for length and clarity.

In 2014, I got diagnosed with cancer at the age of 27. By then, it was already in stage 3B, so it was quite advanced.

I was numb because I was still very young. It didn’t even cross my mind that somebody at that age could have late-stage cancer. At the time, I was working at PwC.

Nobody around me wanted to talk about it. Instead of being sad, I was mainly angry with the condition.

In Indonesia, there’s a big stigma that if you have a critical illness, even if you’re young, your life is over. I wanted to prove that it is wrong.

The first daughter also always has to be strong. I felt responsibility for my family — as the first daughter, I needed to get out of this.

There were so many things to process. I kind of repressed it and decided to channel it to do something more productive.

During six months of chemotherapy in Singapore in 2015, I worked on my scholarship application for an MBA. During the good days, I worked on essays and recommendation letters. On the challenging days, I handled smaller tasks like rearranging my CV or collecting documents.

I interviewed between my 9th and 10th chemo sessions. On the day of my final treatment, I found out I got a government scholarship for an MBA.

I thought I was healed when I moved to the US — but I wasn’t

A year after finishing chemo, I went to the University of Michigan Ross School of Business for my MBA. I thought by the time I had to go to the US, I would be recovered. Unfortunately, it was not the case.

I discovered another tumor. I was so scared. It was extremely challenging because I thought the recovery process was going to be a linear journey.

There was pressure for me to recover fast so that I could move on with my life and catch up. The MBA was full of very high-achieving, ambitious people.

I really struggled with the uncertainties. As a consultant, I like things to be well-planned and structured, and I had to throw that out the window.

After graduating from the MBA in 2018, I returned to McKinsey a year later and worked on a lot of digital transformation and energy-related projects, which were always my interest.

But I struggled due to my chronic illnesses. While I was consistently staffed on projects and studies, there were times I couldn’t complete them due to flare-ups from my illnesses.

For two years, I had amazing peers, bosses, projects, and access to opportunities such as travel, training, and tailored staffing aligned with my goals. But my health often got in the way of fully embracing those experiences.

I took a sabbatical to heal

I realized I never gave myself proper time to heal, both physically and mentally. I was so afraid of losing the opportunity and time to achieve things.

I eventually quit McKinsey in 2021, took a sabbatical, and planned three years off.

I owed it to myself to focus and thank my body and mind for being so cooperative and strong throughout these years.

I needed to make sure I was ready for anything, whether it’s being an entrepreneur, building a company, working full time as a consultant, or any other profession. It was going to be a marathon, not a sprint, and I’m running for myself.

For the first year, I focused on getting myself better. I began exploring different types of movement, such as strength training, swimming, and boxing, as a way to support my physical and mental well-being.

I also spent time between Jakarta and my hometown, Yogyakarta, where I got to be with my family, who is my greatest source of strength and support.

During that time, I met my business partner, who’s now my CEO.

I started out just advising him on his other venture. When he asked me to build a company with him, it felt like the natural next step.

Up until two or three years ago, I didn’t want to work in healthcare because I’ve always wanted to work in the energy sector. But I just needed to trust the process because everything brought me here.

I only ended up doing one year of sabbatical. But that year changed everything. I felt like I had more clarity in life about what I wanted to pursue. I found my ikigai — something I was excited to fight for and that gave me a sense of purpose.

Even though the sector was different, all those challenges shaped and prepared me for the present.

Without my experience, I wasn’t going to be the best person to do this, to strive to change the way healthcare is delivered.

Do you have a story to share about a career pivot in Asia? Contact this reporter at [email protected].