This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kristen Seitz. It has been edited for length and clarity.
At 25, I was working in Texas at an oil and gas company, feeling like this wasn’t the life I wanted. I decided I’d quit my job and teach English in Europe for a few years, planning to return once I’d had my fill.
My first Christmas in Europe, I was teaching at a school in Poland and was invited to spend the holiday with a colleague’s family. It was there that I met a French man who would become my husband.
We had 2 kids in France
Since the meeting, we’ve moved around, living in Poland and Canada, and since 2019, in France. We wanted to settle near my husband’s family, and it was easier to get married in France than anywhere else we had lived.
Both of us knew we wanted children, and I found out I was expecting our firstborn in 2023.
The whole process of having a baby scared me because of what I had heard from family and friends in the US. I’d heard horror stories about affording pregnancy and birth, being pushed by doctors to have C-sections, and taking Pitocin. I was nervous it might be the same in France.
I quickly discovered how wrong I was.
I had a midwife throughout my pregnancy
As soon as I found out I was pregnant at six weeks, I used an app to find a midwife (sage femme in French) and contacted her. She would be my midwife throughout the pregnancy.
I’d visit her once a month at the office to talk about anything and everything: how I was feeling, what I was worried about, and any questions or concerns I had. She was so warm and reassuring each time we met, putting all of my worries to rest.
Not having my family or much of a support system at the time, it was a huge relief to have someone other than my husband to speak to about how the baby and I were doing.
Anytime I needed her in between these meetings, she was available over text.
I loved having midwifery support throughout my pregnancy. Midwives here are focused on the mother and the baby, and that comes across loud and clear through their care.
In addition, there were workshops I could attend. I went to seven, covering birthing positions, preparing the home for a baby, breathing techniques, and how to write a birth plan. There were also one or two sessions for partners to attend, where they could learn how to support a woman through pregnancy, birth, and the early days of parenthood.
I felt as prepared as I possibly could be going into labor and motherhood.
I had a private hospital room that cost me nothing
I had made a birth plan, specifically noting that, as French was my second language, I wanted any decisions made to be explained to me in full, with lots of detail.
When it came time to give birth, I was ushered into a private room with a private bathroom to start. This is where I would wait until I was ready to deliver.
Courtesy of Kristen Seitz
When I got to about seven centimeters, we moved into a birthing room, with a ball, a bath, a mat, and a shower. In the room with us was a midwife, a midwifery intern, and a labor and delivery nurse.
On only one occasion did they ask if I wanted an epidural — they never pushed me to do anything I felt uncomfortable with. At eight centimeters, I requested an epidural.
The midwives stepped up to support and encourage me as I pushed and gave birth. Everyone was so positive, welcoming my little boy into the world with joy.
While I was in the hospital, the midwives gave me space in my room to recover alone with my baby, with someone only occasionally coming in to check on us. We slept a lot, and I had food brought to me at every mealtime.
I texted my midwife while I was still in the hospital to let her know when I’d arrive home. Less than 24 hours after I arrived at my house, she came for a visit, and then again the next day. She was checking on me, the baby, and our house — making sure we had everything we needed.
I had 4 months of parental leave
For six weeks postpartum, I went to perineal recovery classes to help heal my pelvic floor and rebuild strength. Babies were welcome.
Not only was healthcare incredible, but I also had four months of paid maternity leave and was given just over $1,100 by the state as a sort of financial gift.
The care I had throughout my pregnancy, labor, and postpartum was exceptional in France. I received the same support when I had my second child.
The biggest difference in the care I received in France compared to what I would’ve received in the US was that everything was free in France.
The midwife support, perinatal classes, hospital stay, birth, and postnatal recovery — I didn’t pay for any of it.
For me, the biggest surprise wasn’t just how supported I felt — it was realizing that having that level of care didn’t come with a bill hanging over my head.
