I crossed the street near where I was living in Milan on the verge of tears. I had had enough of feeling sad, lonely, and hopeless.
That surely wasn’t how I expected to feel in my first year of university.
The previous spring, I had thought about which undergraduate degree I wanted to pursue for months, reading about courses, tuition, and life in a new place. Since I loved writing and dreamed of becoming a journalist, studying communication seemed like the best bet. I chose to pursue a degree at a private university in Milan because the classes seemed fascinating and useful, and the idea of living in Milan was thrilling.
Unfortunately, I soon realized I had made the wrong choice.
My first year of undergrad in Milan was challenging
The majority of the courses I was taking were engaging, but we occasionally experienced last-minute schedule changes and disorganized lecturers, and that didn’t sit right with me.
More importantly, I began to feel guilty about the expenses my parents were covering for me. They assured me they could afford it and that my education was worthwhile to them; nonetheless, the tuition and rent were expensive. And, if I wasn’t loving it, should they be spending so much?
Living in Milan was way more exciting in my dreams than it was in reality. While this metropolis had a lot to offer, like cultural exhibitions, sports events, and a lively nightlife, it was also chaotic and hectic. I often felt agitated and restless.
In my first months there, my sleep was severely affected. It was extremely challenging to find accommodation near the university, and I ended up in a small apartment with a shared bedroom. I struggled to adapt to that living situation and to the noisy neighborhood we lived in.
By October, I was crying almost every day, telling my mom that I was miserable and that I felt that I wasn’t on the right path. Then, I realized there was something I could do.
Courtesy of Nicole Benedettini
Transferring to a school in a smaller town was a game changer
The following summer, I applied to the University of Urbino. The living costs and slower rhythms of Urbino, a 15,000-inhabitant town located a short distance from where I grew up in San Marino, were way more appealing to me.
There, I could attend classes just three days a week, so finding an accommodation wasn’t an urgent matter anymore. It was manageable to go back and forth by car from my family home in the first month.
After that period, I rented a single room with a stunning view, at a walkable distance from my lecture halls. The morning walk in Urbino’s historical center to class became a pleasurable part of my day.
I felt relieved because the public university tuition and accommodation in Urbino were much cheaper than what I was paying in Milan. Given the flexibility of my new arrangement and the saved money, I signed up for a fitness course with training branches in Urbino and San Marino, as well as a mindfulness program in Rimini. I was brighter and more serene.
Unfortunately, this period in Urbino didn’t last long, because COVID-19 hit and universities implemented online lessons, and I eventually ended up moving back home.
Looking back, those few months in Urbino were the best period of my early 20s, and I’m glad I was courageous enough to know that something wasn’t right and that I could do something about it, and that’s a lesson that still sticks with me today.
