This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Keijhon Francis, a 29-year-old communications specialist based in Brooklyn, NY. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
Losing my job last year completely upended my sense of self. I’d never been let go before, and I panicked.
I’d moved to New York for my job — a communications associate role — and didn’t know how I’d continue to live my life without it.
I called a friend, and we agreed that after a few hours, I had to stop crying and accept what had happened.
Months later, I’d applied to over 100 jobs, and nothing was working. I withdrew my entire retirement savings just to make ends meet.
The journey taught me that if you’re not open to people being there for you, they won’t be. So open yourself up to it and let them help.
I’d never faced unemployment before, and I didn’t know what to do with all the time I had
It was close to the holidays when I was let go, and hiring is usually slow during that time. I decided not to focus too much on my job search right away and to figure it out in the new year.
I started to go stir-crazy with all the time I suddenly had. I had a lot of thoughts going through my head about whether I was good enough or deserved certain levels of respect at work. It altered my self-perception and put me in a bad place mentally.
I was still applying to jobs, but also spent my time taking walks, enjoying New York during the holiday season, and talking to my friends as much as possible because that really helped me level out.
I was mass applying until I realized I needed to be more strategic about my job search
Once the new year arrived, I was home all day, sending in applications as if it were my full-time job.
I applied on LinkedIn and Indeed, and if I saw a job posting on Instagram, I’d send my résumé. I used AI to help tailor my applications, find roles I could apply for with my skill set, and optimize my LinkedIn profile.
By late spring, I realized I needed to be more strategic because I wasn’t getting anywhere, and rejection after rejection was wearing on me. I started tailoring my applications heavily to each role and applied to around three suitable roles a day, versus 25 roles with the same generic résumé.
I saw a slight increase in responses after switching my strategy, but still nothing came through.
I had to pull my retirement savings out to get by, but then I ran out of that money
I went into my retirement account, which had about $10,000, and I withdrew the entire amount as a safety net for myself. I was also receiving about $500 a week in unemployment benefits until May.
In July, I was flat broke with nothing coming in and nothing to fall back on. That got rough. I realized that I needed any job as soon as possible and couldn’t focus on my search on a full-time role anymore.
I got a job as a cashier at a local market in Brooklyn. A week later, I added a job as a host at a bar, which I still host at. Those two combined brought me back to being able to make it through the months financially. But I was feeling very negative internally and trying not to show it.
Therapy and my support system helped me regain my self-worth
Through attending therapy and dedicating time to working on freelance gigs and mock projects to boost my portfolio, I realized my old role hadn’t been the right fit for me and didn’t reflect my worth.
Having so many people pray for me, check in, encourage, and uplift me made me realize that I’m loved and worthy of love. It made me feel less alone during one of the most critical periods of my life.
Through some of those really hard moments, when I didn’t know how I would make rent or afford food, I’d think of the positives that came with this newfound free time. I was able to see my best friend of 17 years give birth to her first baby. My relationship with my father has grown immensely, which has been incredible.
It was really beautiful to form stronger bonds with those people, as well as gain a deeper understanding of who I am and what I need.
I found my next job through my network of friends
A friend that I used to work with messaged me one day and asked if I was still looking for a job because she knew someone leaving their role, and she thought I would be a great fit.
I immediately applied, and then I didn’t hear from them for a couple of weeks. I went through the interview process, which was pretty long. However, I got the call in October that I had landed the job.
I couldn’t even let her finish her statement before I started sobbing. It just felt like that chapter of my life was finally closed. It was everything I had been hoping, praying, and fighting for over the last year.
This experience taught me how to advocate for myself and reframe work in my life
I’ve learned a great deal about myself and my priorities. When I lost my job, I was feeling so bad about myself because my identity was tied to my work performance in many ways.
I realized that I always wanted to bring my best self to a role, but I never want to lose myself in it again. That’s something I’ll take with me as I continue to move forward in life.
To anyone newly unemployed: Take it one day at a time. Use this time to figure out what truly makes you happy. Do what you need to do to ensure that your bills are paid and all the necessary things are taken care of, but let the people who love you be there for you.
Do you have a story to share about long-term unemployment? Contact this reporter, Agnes Applegate, at [email protected].
