- Raising my daughters as teenagers has been the hardest time of my life as a parent.
- They were sneaking out, skipping school, and eventually ended up in jail.
- When I got the call from jail, I wanted to rescue them but decided not to. It was the right move.
Having my two daughters was the best decision I ever made.
When they were kids, all the moments we had were special. However, kids don’t remain kids forever, and their teenage years have been the hardest.
My girls hated school and struggled to keep their grades consistent. When they were 13 and 15, I got a call from their class teacher, who hadn’t seen them in school for two weeks straight.
Still, I didn’t enforce any hard rules or punishments because I felt that talking to them would have more of an impact than grounding them or revoking privileges. I was wrong.
We tried having open conversations with our kids about their poor behavior
My daughters weren’t motivated to get an education because they never knew hardship growing up.
On the other hand, I grew up believing that a good education was the only way to a good job and a better life for myself and my family.
As any parent might, I tried to make them see why education matters and why going to school was the way to a brighter future, but they didn’t see it my way.
“Dad, stay out of our business!” was their constant one-liner.
To add insult to injury, they would sneak out in the middle of the night and return early in the morning, thinking we didn’t notice. It broke my heart many times.
My wife always wanted to take the harder approach, but I would talk her out of it for fear of pushing them even further away. In those situations, my wife and I did our best to sit down with our daughters to have open conversations.
After they were suspended from school, I got a call from jail
A month passed after that first call from their teacher. The second call came from the school principal, who said that both my daughters had been suspended for the rest of the term for poor attendance and causing trouble in school.
I considered going down and attempting to offer an explanation to the school but decided not to. I knew a suspension record on my daughters’ school reports would affect their chances of college acceptance, but they had to learn.
They took the news as I expected, with a carefree attitude. They even said they were done with school.
A few weeks later, they got into trouble for drug possession. Granted, the drugs were found in their friend’s car, but that did not save them from the law.
When I got that call from jail, I immediately wanted to go to their rescue and post their bail, but my wife and I decided it was best to let them take responsibility for their actions.
After spending some time in jail, my two daughters were sent to a court-appointed drug program for six months. We hoped the time apart would help all of us reflect, which it thankfully did.
That horrific experience caused my daughters to reconsider their actions. Change didn’t happen overnight, though. It was a journey.
I’m finally enjoying parenting again
First, we had to forgive each other for the disappointment, the hurtful actions, and the things that were said in anger.
Over time, my daughters also had to make amends with their school and stay on track with their education.
Getting arrested was enough to inspire them to change their ways.
Now they’re in college, and my daughters look back and see their experiences as a stepping stone to a better future.
Slowly but surely, they are turning into responsible adults and I’m enjoying parenting again after that dark phase.
