When my boyfriend and I first met in Portugal, we were both traveling alone. He had just switched to a remote job so he could explore new places, and I was a year into a 10-country solo trip.
From the beginning of our relationship, I knew I didn’t want to give up traveling by myself just because I was dating someone. I’d grown up exploring the world, and felt a rush of freedom and independence every time I got on a plane alone.
We’ve now been together for three years, and even with all the adventures we’ve shared together, I still make a point of taking trips on my own — not because my partner lacks the time, money, or desire to come along, but because we’ve both learned that time apart is healthy for us.
My trips have become an important exercise in independence
Catherine Work
At first, solo traveling while in a relationship was an adjustment. A few months into being together, I found myself restless and lonely while on a trip to Morocco.
However, I realized that traveling solo is like a muscle: If you don’t use it, it weakens. To be happy in my relationship, I needed to rebuild that comfort with my own company.
So, I made sure to keep solo travel as a regular part of my life. These trips are a reset button, and I intentionally try to schedule them in new environments where I can learn more about myself.
In January, for example, I spent two weeks in Belgium finishing exams for my second master’s degree. Having that time alone allowed me to focus, knowing my boyfriend was cheering me on from afar.
Then, I flew to the US to see family, and he joined me later. Being on my own first gave me space to reconnect with friends before sharing that part of my life with him.
Still, not every trip is easy. This spring, I spent two months in China for an internship. Poor internet connection, strict firewalls, and a major time difference made communication tough.
Although I wouldn’t travel for that long alone again, I learned that I was capable of much more than I thought. I made friends, established a routine, and completed a research project independently. When my partner joined me at the end of my stay, he could see all of my growth.
I love that my trips force me to ask myself how I’d want to spend an entire day if no one else’s preferences mattered. They also remind me that I know how to take care of myself, and spark a curiosity about the world that I can bring back to my relationship.
Taking time to travel by myself makes me a stronger partner
Catherine Work
Of course, I still check in with my partner throughout my travels, sending photos, sharing my location for safety, and calling every few days — but the foundation is trust.
He encourages me to explore the world, and there’s never been a hint of jealousy. He’s been practicing taking solo trips, too, after I gifted him one to Jeju Island.
Traveling alone not only helps me practice listening to my body and asking for what I need, but it also allows me to explore new foods, routines, and perspectives that I can bring home and share.
This fall, I visited my 50th country, Georgia. I’ll admit, I still feel a little nervous before each trip, but that nervousness always gives way to excitement — the thrill of discovery, and the happiness of sharing stories when I return.
Each journey reminds me why I love traveling alone, but even more, why I always choose to come home.
