This as-told-to essay is based on conversations with Candice Smith, a 47-year-old mother who moved from Florida to Europe and has lived in Italy, Turkey, and Spain with her daughter. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
I lived in Florida for many years and had a pretty normal life. I homeschooled my daughter, who has cerebral palsy and autism, and most of my time was devoted to balancing work with caring for her.
I had this routine where I would go to my salon and work, come back home, take care of household things, and then go to bed. Most nights, I’d just watch Netflix until I fell asleep — it was basically a rinse-and-repeat routine.
I had a generally good life, but one thing I felt was really missing was an authentic human connection. After a very painful divorce, I decided to start traveling as a way to heal and rediscover myself. In 2015, I took my first-ever transatlantic trip to Paris, which is what set everything off.
Courtesy of Candice Smith
Every time I traveled to Europe, I had more opportunities for socialization and friendship — something I had really been craving. I also found that I had far more romantic opportunities.
In 2018, I went on a trip to Rome with a friend. We were sitting at this amazing café, and I turned to her and said, “I’m moving here.” She looked at me and asked, “Are you serious?” and I said, “I’m so serious. I’ve never in my life felt like I needed to be somewhere as much as I feel it right now.”
Within eight weeks, I had my codice fiscale — basically your Italian tax or Social Security number — an apartment, and a plan. I told my sister to take over managing the salon, told my family I was moving to Italy, packed up my daughter, our dogs, and everything else, and we hightailed it to Rome by the end of that summer.
That was the start of an amazing journey living abroad — and I’ve never looked back.
Learning local languages is a must
Since 2018, I’ve lived in Italy, Turkey, and Spain. Each relocation has come with its own rewards and challenges.
The biggest hurdles have been understanding local systems, acclimating to new cultures and their nuances, building a sense of community, and finding people with whom you genuinely connect and can trust — especially when it comes to your child.
It also takes time learning new languages. People often ask me if you need to know the local language before moving abroad. You can get by without it, but for me, I’ve never understood how someone can live in a country for years without speaking the language at least to some degree.
Courtesy of Candice Smith
When I moved to Turkey, I actually taught myself Turkish. Not many people there speak English, so you really do need some grasp of the language to get by.
Learning the language and making friends proved invaluable in 2022 when I lost my mother to COVID while she was visiting me in Istanbul. It was one of the hardest experiences I’ve faced while living abroad — a truly devastating situation.
In the middle of a serious medical emergency, limited Turkish and Google Translate can only get you so far. During that time, I relied heavily on my Turkish friends. I was incredibly grateful when they came to the hospital and told me, “Candice, don’t worry — we’ll treat this like it’s our own mother.” That meant everything to me.
Some countries are more disability-friendly than others
I know we can build a beautiful life wherever we are, but along the way, we’ve noticed that some countries are definitely more inclusive and accessible for people with disabilities than others.
Rome wasn’t the most accessible city for people with disabilities. When you take the metro, the elevators rarely work, and there were a few times when I had to carry my daughter on my back down the escalators to reach the train.
But in terms of day-to-day living, we didn’t face too many difficulties in Rome. One major positive was the level of safety we felt. In Florida, I would never, ever in a million years let my daughter go out by herself. However, in Rome, I had absolutely no problem letting her go out alone in our neighborhood, which has a population that is just as big as Chicago.
It’s because the people there are much more community-minded. They really welcomed us into the neighborhood, and my daughter was able to enjoy some level of independence, which was truly big for her.
Courtesy of Candice Smith
Even though my daughter has graduated from high school, she still takes online courses, and I still incorporate aspects of world schooling. Right now she’s studying financial literacy, as well as Spanish and Japanese.
We also do a lot of fun, educational activities — like traveling to take cooking classes. I try to use travel as a way for her to learn about the world and help her interact with diverse groups of people in their own environments.
One thing I’m especially proud of is her adaptability. No matter where we are, she finds a way to adjust and thrive.
Motherhood is easier in Europe
My daughter and I are currently living in Málaga, Spain. It’s a very beautiful city, with a population of over half a million people. It’s fairly spread out, so it doesn’t feel overcrowded, yet you can still find everything you need. It’s also clean and accessible for people with disabilities.
We found an amazing two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment in one of the city’s best neighborhoods, which is just a 10-minute walk from the beach. The building has a tennis court and a swimming pool. And we’re only paying €1350 ($1,571) a month for rent.
Courtesy of Candice Smith
Following the COVID-19 pandemic, I decided to close my salon and began pursuing several projects working independently. I’m the cofounder of a company called Her Expat Life, which helps plan curated events for women who live, work, and travel abroad.
I think the most rewarding part of living abroad is being a true global citizen — having a life that isn’t limited by borders. Knowing that at any given moment I can land in almost any country and either know someone or know someone who knows someone, that, to me, is the most rewarding experience of all.
Courtesy of Candice Smith
Through all my travels, I’ve learned a few things: Motherhood is easier in countries that truly prioritize family — places that support mothers and family life.
Because of that support in Spain, I don’t feel guilty about prioritizing my daughter — whether it’s taking care of her, declining a business meeting, or stepping away from work when she’s having a moment. I’m in environments that understand and support that balance, and that makes all the difference.
