My neighbor entered my house one afternoon, greeted by the laundry mound on the family room floor. As her three kids scurried off in different directions to find mine, she plopped down next to me in the epicenter of clothes and picked up a tea towel to fold.
“You don’t have to help,” I said apologetically. “You’re a guest.”
“Nonsense, we’re a community,” she replied. “This is what we do.”
I didn’t disagree, grateful for the help. And when I was at her house next and discovered her laundry pile, I reciprocated.
Some people might be insulted by a guest inserting themselves like this, or particular about how cleaning is executed. But I’ve always appreciated friendships like these that lean into the belief that life is better when we enter into each other’s messes and help bring a little order.
My neighbor and I already clean together
Neither of us can currently afford a house cleaner, thanks to replacing A.C. units and exorbitant dental bills. We both live in modest houses with three kids and have admitted that we feel overwhelmed at times trying to keep up with it all.
So last week, while I scrubbed her kitchen alongside her during a visit, we made a plan: One day soon, we’d spend time cleaning each other’s homes. At first, we thought it would be novel to swap homes for a few hours, but then we decided half the fun was having someone to chat to while we worked. So, we resolved to do it together and give each home one or two hours of our dedicated attention.
Courtesy of Kris Ann Valdez
It seemed like a win-win. We’d each walk away with a cleaner home — without having to pay anyone. My neighbor is more organized than me, so I’d have her dedicate her time to my craft closet.
Then life happened. My neighbor wasn’t feeling well and had a busy week. Even though she needed to postpone our house swap, I still wanted to try it out, so I called another close friend, told her about our idea, and asked if she’d be willing to give it a try.
She was up for it.
We cleaned my friend’s house, then she came to mine
I have a difficult time keeping up with everything. Life is busy, and the house often gets neglected and deprioritized due to our schedules. Besides, I do clean — all the time — but with kids it just never seems to stay that way.
I felt a little embarrassed at first that my friend would be taking a deeper look at my space and seeing how grimy some things were. She, in turn, worried I wouldn’t like her slow, methodical cleaning style.
The day she came to help me, I’d started a new job and had neglected my house for a few days. I was overwhelmed by the clutter that had built up. We set a timer and cleaned with great focus and energy for an hour.
Neither of us really chatted as we worked.
At first, I felt self-conscious assigning my friend tasks, but she was willing to do whatever I needed done, so I got over myself and asked if she’d be willing to tidy the toys and craft closet. On her own, she also wiped down surfaces and swept.
I couldn’t believe how much we could tackle in an hour with such dedicated focus. It looked like a whole new house. On my own, I would’ve never completed that much.
Then we went to her house and wiped the windows, the bathrooms, and vacuumed. Her house was tidier than mine to start, but she said cleaning together still gave her the motivation to get chores done that she’d been ignoring.
We liked the process so much that we agreed to try it again soon. And when my neighbor is better, I want to try it with her too, though I enjoy our impromptu cleaning sessions just as much.
As they say, many hands make light work — and this switch definitely lightened my load.
