The day my son got his license, I downloaded an app to track him.
I swear I’m not one of those overprotective helicopter moms. But my husband was the one who took him to get his license, and when he came back alone, I asked him where our son was, and he casually said, “Oh, he decided to go to Hunter’s house and then maybe to see Amiyah or maybe to Target. He said he would be home before nine,” I panicked.
I can’t even describe the feeling I had, but it was deep down in the pit of my stomach. In the mama bear parts. The sudden realization of my total lack of control over what might happen to my child out there in the world. Obviously, none of us really has total control over our kids’ safety, even when they’re physically with us, but that fact just became terrifyingly real to me in that moment.
I couldn’t control what happened, but at least I could see where he was. It felt like some semblance of control at least. So I downloaded Life360, an app that provides real-time tracking, and called him to ask him to share his location with me. He just laughed and said, “Sure, mom.”
It’s just what modern parents do now
I’ve read that some people consider tracking their kids’ location an invasion of their privacy, but I honestly don’t know a single parent who doesn’t use an app to track their teenager. To me, it’s just part of modern-day parenting.
When our kids were little, I had no problem with the old-school free-range method our parents had in the 80s. I was totally fine with letting them roam our very safe neighborhood and telling them to be back when the streetlights came on. But having your kid driving their own car, halfway across the county, with who knows who else out there on the roads with them, just hits different.
Courtesy of Kathy Larson
It may seem controlling, but like anything else, I think it depends on how you use it. If you’re a controlling parent, you’ll use it in a controlling way. If you’re not, it will just be a way for you to feel better about their safety while allowing them independence. It’s just another resource to keep your kids safe, like the phones they carry.
When I was a teenager, I had an old hand-me-down car that broke down at least once a month. I had no cell phone. My only option was to knock on the closest door and ask to use their phone. A few of those times were very dicey. I’m thankful my kids have the option to call me, no matter where they are.
My kids think it’s normal
My son has zero problem with me tracking him. He just thinks it’s normal. The only way I even knew about Life360 was because his friend group uses the app to track each other, just because.
Since most of his friends’ parents track them, none of them seems to think it’s a big deal. In fact, the parents joke around that the kids use it more like overbearing parents than we do. A mom might be out running errands and get a text, “What are you doing at Chipotle? You said you were going to the grocery store.” Then, “Can you bring me a burrito?”
I don’t stalk him on it
I don’t check it all the time. I don’t even look at it every day. The only time I’ve really stalked him was the first day of school this year, when he drove his two younger siblings to school for the first time. As they drove away, I turned to my husband and gasped, “Our whole life is in that car.” He flashed me his phone, “Already tracking them.” As we finished our coffee, we watched them on Life360 the entire way, all 18 minutes. But I haven’t done that any other day since.
I typically only check it if it’s getting close to curfew and he hasn’t texted to say he’s left yet. Or if it’s way past the time tennis or volleyball, or soccer practice is supposed to be over, and he isn’t home yet. Or the time there was a shooting near our local T.J. Maxx, and he and his girlfriend were out shopping at the time. I don’t really track him day-to-day; it’s just a fallback. In case something happens, and I need to know where he is.
I actually use it to track my 77-year-old mom far more often than I do my kids. And yes, I have her permission. She asked me to track her when my dad died, so someone would know where she is, just in case.
I’m not yet sure if I’ll keep tracking him next year when he goes to college, but I probably will. I have a friend who jokes that you should track them in high school but turn it off when they’re at college because “you don’t want to know.” I get it, that’s a funny joke at a cocktail party. But I think I’d rather be able to check it if I need to. Just in case.
