It’s the perfect morning: birds chirping, coffee steam rising, and my girlfriend and I sit down together to read. It’s what we dreamed of when we thought about moving in together.
Everything is perfect until we’re startled out of the dream by another couple making breakfast mere feet away — and we remember we’re not alone.
When my girlfriend and I decided to move in together in 2024, we worried it might be too soon to take this step. Yes, we had been dating for a year already, but I had only ever lived with friends, and didn’t want my coming-of-age, 20-something sitcom to end yet.
So, we came up with the most logical — and most fun — solution: to live with two of our best friends, who also happen to be dating. This way, we’d be able to take our relationship to the next level, without the pressure of living completely alone.
So far, it hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth the challenges.
Navigating the finances was an important first step
Riley Runnells
When starting our apartment search, the biggest consideration was how much we were willing to spend and how we would split it between four people.
We wanted ample space, pet-friendly accommodations for two cats and a bunny, and in-unit laundry — all while keeping individual monthly payments below $800.
We were prepared to get scrappy, but surprisingly struck gold when we found our 1,600-square-foot townhouse. This three-bedroom, two-bathroom space checked all our boxes and was advertised at just $2,300 a month.
Even though this place felt like an amazing deal, we still needed to figure out a clear system for splitting the costs, keeping our different socioeconomic statuses in mind.
One of the hardest conversations we had, besides figuring out who would have the larger bedroom and who could use the garage, was that we wouldn’t be splitting the rent exactly down the middle.
Since one of our roommates works part time and could only afford to pay a lower, fixed rate each month, we ended up subtracting that from the total and splitting the remaining difference among the three of us with full-time jobs.
Riley Runnells
For grocery shopping and other expenses, we created a group list, with each person buying items when they’re able to. This way, it never feels like keeping score.
At the end of the day, we all recognize that both couples’ goals are accomplished with each other’s help. My girlfriend has been able to pay off some of her student loans, and we’ve been able to travel a lot since living here.
Similarly, our roommates have been able to navigate job transitions, pay off credit card debt, and still go out and have fun on the weekends.
Living with another couple isn’t without its challenges, but it’s ultimately worth it
Riley Runnells
When moving in together, we knew we’d have to navigate some clunky boundary-setting, but we weren’t worried — after all, how hard could it be to live with your favorite people?
Turns out, living with friends is both easier and harder than you’d think. We argue over the use of the common areas and how to utilize the spare bedroom, and we still can’t figure out a laundry schedule.
Simultaneously, we’ve had Champagne toasts over new jobs, group hugs over family illnesses, and many occasions of raiding each other’s closets for clothes.
Sure, we have our disagreements, but positive experiences are usually the norm: cooking dinner together, discussing our days, and gabbing about breaking news or the latest pop-culture trends.
I love these moments, but there are times my girlfriend and I want alone time, and vice versa for our roommates.
So, we’ve figured out ways to get creative with the space — one couple may spend time in the common area while the other goes out for date night.
Luckily, we also have enough rooms to spread out when we please. We don’t have crazy rules in place, but we assess how we are feeling each day and discuss it honestly.
Riley Runnells
Even though we’ve had to set some boundaries, we never want to just feel like two couples sharing a space. So, to feel more interconnected, we make the effort to spend one-on-one time in different combinations — something we’re still trying to find a balance with.
Overall, we’ve had our grievances, but no small con has outweighed the pros of weekly dinners, hosting parties with our friends, having vulnerable conversations, and learning lessons in communication and conflict navigation.
After a full year in our home, we recently re-signed our lease. I’m excited for my girlfriend and me to live alone eventually, but for now, I’m content to continue living in my own sitcom.
