When I was younger, I experienced nearly every type of schooling: homeschool, private, and public. By the time I reached middle school and convinced my parents to send me back to the public school system, I spent a lot of my time resenting my parents’ decisions because I felt like an outsider in that foreign space — it was as though my peers were speaking in an entirely different language, and, as a result, I struggled socially. But becoming both a parent and a public school teacher shifted my perspective.
I switched schools 10 times
We moved around a lot because my father was a “church planter,” which meant that I switched schools 10 times. Not only that, my parents often switched between different schooling methods, from public to homeschooling to private, and then back again to public, depending on what was happening in our lives and what they felt best suited our current situation. Finances were consistently tight, so we didn’t always live in areas where my parents felt comfortable sending us to public school.
During elementary school, I often resisted being homeschooled or attending a private evangelical Christian school, so the summer before seventh grade, I begged my parents to let me return to public school. They agreed, but that transition was also difficult. I felt like a fish out of water, completely naive and innocent in terms of pop culture and developmental knowledge. In other words, no matter which form of schooling I endured, there were real challenges: physical, mental, and emotional. No single method or school emerged as a clear winner.
Now that I’m a parent, I look back and think about how my mom and dad — who became parents at 17 and 19 — did the best they could, given their tenuous life circumstances. They really tried to give us a good life, and, for the most part, they did.
I became a teacher to pay it forward
After graduating from college, I attended graduate school to become a secondary English teacher — mostly because I wanted to pay it forward as a thank-you to all the amazing teachers and mentors I’d had along the way. It was through my decadelong classroom experience that I learned, firsthand, how every child — and every family — is different.
I worked tirelessly in Title I schools, doing my best to provide each student with the highest quality education possible. I taught students with a wide range of cognitive, physical, emotional, and language abilities. I customized learning plans and communicated with parents, faculty, and staff to ensure student needs were being met. Most of the time, my team and I were successful in our endeavors.
However, there were times when a student needed additional support, and we weren’t able to meet their needs to the caregivers’ satisfaction. We had hard conversations with their guardians, and what we found was that if there was an alternative option on the table that felt better suited for the child, they’d transfer them to a different school.
I remember feeling heartbroken on those rare occasions — like I’d let both the caregiver and the child down. But, in the end, I learned to trust what the guardian thought was best, and, now, as a parent, I understand this. I want what’s best for my children, too, and I’m in a fortunate place where I’m able to be somewhat selective about my children’s schooling.
My experiences affected how I look at school as a parent
Through my life experience, I’ve come to see that no single educational path is perfect, and each family makes the best choices they can with the options available — not always the ideal. Today, I have my kids in both public and private Montessori schools — my 5-year-old daughter attends a nearby public Montessori school, while my 3-year-old daughter took her older sister’s place at a private Montessori school this past fall.
My husband and I plan for our youngest to remain there until kindergarten, and then we will revisit and decide which educational pathway we feel will best suit her needs. Our children are currently thriving, and we’ve chosen to place both of them in Montessori schools because we believe in the goal as defined by Maria Montessori: “the development of the complete human being, oriented to the environment, and adapted to his/her time, place, and culture.”
It’s a solution that works for our family at the moment, but may change in the future. I’m fully aware and accepting of this truth. Parenting, like education, isn’t a straightforward path — it’s a journey full of detours, hard left turns, and, very rarely, cruise control.
