Every weekend, I stared at the mountain of dirty laundry that had accumulated with dread.
I’d always manage to throw our clothes in the washer and dryer, but that was only the beginning. After that, there would still be a massive pile of clean things to fold and put away.
And after that was done, there were Costco runs to make, meals to prep, Amazon packages to return, rooms to clean, plus other odd and ends needed to keep our house afloat.
My husband and I felt like we never had a chance to decompress.
After a busy week of demanding corporate jobs, our weekends were spent in a never-ending game of trying to catch up instead of spending time with our two small children.
There wasn’t much to show for all our effort, either: The house still never looked presentable, we never got caught up on laundry, and it constantly felt like we were failing.
One weekend last year, I once again found myself locked in a staring contest with a pile of laundry and realized I was at a breaking point.
I didn’t want to live in a constant hamster wheel anymore, and I was willing to put money toward the problem to try to fix it.
A house manager sounded like a great solution for us, so I turned to Facebook to find one
Courtesy of Elliott Harrel
After seeing Instagram posts about busy parents hiring house managers, mothers’ helpers, and family assistants to help them with chores and small errands for a few hours a week, we were sold.
My husband and I talked through what would be most helpful for someone to take off our plates, and how long those tasks might take each week. We decided we’d most like help with tidying, vacuuming, doing laundry, and meal prepping for about eight to 10 hours a week.
From there, I posted what we were looking for in a local Facebook group where people typically hire nannies and babysitters. I initially offered “20ish” an hour in my post based on what I’d seen others in the group share and the going rate for babysitters in our area.
Within a few hours of posting, I had over 10 people messaging me about the job — and two other women commented that they were looking to hire for the same role.
One message stood out to me. Amelia was a college senior and had worked with a family the year before doing something similar. Her class schedule had changed, she said, so she couldn’t support them anymore.
After speaking with her in person about what we were looking for and receiving a glowing recommendation over the phone from the family she’d previously worked for, she was hired.
We agreed to pay Amelia $25 an hour, which is what she’d been making before, and started having her work eight hours a week.
Although it felt a little strange at first, having a house manager was worth every penny
Courtesy of Elliott Harrel
Amelia came to our home two days a week, four hours each day, for almost eight months.
I’d text her or make a list of anything in particular I wanted her to do, but otherwise she would tidy our living room, wipe down the kitchen, vacuum, and work on laundry.
Oftentimes, I’d have a recipe I wanted her to help prep. She’d chop all vegetables or prep a marinade to make things easier in the evenings.
On top of routine tasks, Amelia would also run errands like going to Target to grab tights for the girls or dropping off a package at the post office. She even wrapped Christmas presents and changed our girls’ closets over each season for us.
At first, I felt guilty having a house manager; like my husband and I should have been able to do all of this stuff ourselves without feeling overwhelmed.
However, seeing how much calmer and easier life was with her around showed me that this service is 100% worth it for our family right now. There was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and our family seemed to get our weekends back.
For us, reducing our mental load is worth paying for
Ultimately, we paid $200 each week for her help. To fit this expense into our annual budget, we cut back on spending in other areas, like ordering takeout and buying new clothes.
I know that being able to pay this amount is a privilege. However, in this season of life, I would rather pay to reduce my mental load than to get my nails done.
Although we would’ve loved to continue this arrangement with Amelia, she accepted a job after graduation — and we’re now on the hunt for another house manager, especially now that school is back in full swing for our daughters.
We’re using Facebook again to look, and have a similar set of “wants” that we’re asking for, but think we probably only need closer to six hours a week to get everything done.
After such a fantastic first experience, I’m looking forward to setting up this arrangement once more.
