Made Big Mistakes Buying Our First Home; Not Sure It Was Right Choice | Invesloan.com

As a first-generation Filipino-American and native Angeleno, I was sold a dream.

I grew up witnessing my single mother grapple with rising LA rent for a one-bedroom unit to keep a roof over our heads. Neither of my parents has ever owned a home, but they regularly lauded the merits of homeownership.

Homeownership was proof of success, stability, and permanence in a city whose rising cost-of-living threatens to push you out. It was a tangible declaration that “I made it.” I clung fiercely to that belief — as did my husband, who was raised on a similar doctrine.

So when mortgage rates began to climb in the summer of 2022, we had to act. At the time, we were DINKS (dual income, no kids) who lived along a busy city intersection, each earning six figures. But we knew that if we didn’t make a move soon, it wouldn’t be long before the competitive LA market would price us out of the city we love.

After touring 25 homes in one month, we landed on a house in the suburbs that felt worthy of an offer.

It wasn’t in the neighborhood we’d grown fond of as renters, and was far from friends and family, but it met all of our nonnegotiables — a single-family home, close proximity to my husband’s office, three bedrooms, a two-car garage, central A/C, an enclosed backyard for our rambunctious dog, and less than a 20-minute commute to the beach.

After a whirlwind three-week escrow, we closed on our starter home in August 2022. For a moment, we felt triumphant. We were official homeowners in Los Angeles.

Not long afterward, a realization hit: We had priced ourselves out of the lifestyle we loved.

It’s been hard to rebuild our savings and make the house feel like ‘ours’

Before becoming homeowners, we had monthly discretionary income and a comfortable financial runway. But once we were set on buying a house, every available dollar went toward building up a modest down payment.

After we closed, the savings left afterward were only enough to cover essential starting expenses, like move-in costs, re-keying the property, and supplemental property tax.

Now that we had a home to take care of, we wanted to be vigilant about building our emergency funds.

However, we hadn’t realized just how much effort it would take to rebuild our financial buffer after pouring our life savings into buying a house.

To keep our budget tight, we’ve hardly made any non-essential personal touches to our space. Even the most basic personalization to the house, like fully repainting the interior walls and replanting the garden, has remained low on our priority list.

Instead of buying a bunch of new furniture, we’ve kept all the pieces from our old apartment, even if they don’t fit the space — crooked couch and recalled Ikea dresser included.

Our preferences and tastes are still largely on the back burner three years later as we prioritize essential expenses, though we did finally repaint one bedroom.

All of this has made it hard for this house to really feel like it belongs to us.

The mental load of homeownership isn’t at all what we expected, either

Becoming homeowners has come with a lot of responsibility, and we especially felt that burden when our slow-growing emergency fund took its first big hit.

A week before Christmas, we woke to a flooded backyard and found the crawl space sopping wet and covered in mud. The new plumbing that was sold to us as a highlight feature quickly became an urgent $15,000 nightmare — and that’s just one of the costly cut corners and shoddy DIY discoveries we’ve made over the years.

Experiencing that level of triage as a first-time homeowner with limited savings felt harrowing. We got through it — but the rest of the house still feels like a phantom of the previous owner, ready to spring another financial scare.

Thankfully, property-related emergencies haven’t been a regular occurrence — but home maintenance is.

As busy professionals and first-time (read: sleep-deprived) parents to a toddler, we’ve come to terms with our hatred of routine maintenance. It demands more of our time than we can spare.

After working 10-hour days — sometimes longer — the last thing we want to do is mow the lawn, schedule pest control, or clean out dryer vents. These tasks never demanded our headspace as renters, and we now see we preferred it that way.

Some days, we fondly reminisce about our modest Westside apartment — the neighbors who turned into friends, and the simple convenience of submitting a maintenance request and having a bathroom leak fixed the next day.

Before homeownership, I imagined our home as a haven from a long workweek. The reality is that weekends are now often spent simply keeping the house in working order.

We have regrets, but our experience helped us understand what ‘home’ means for us

We often question whether buying a house was the right choice for us, but I don’t regret becoming a homeowner. If I could do it all over again, though, I’d absolutely do things differently.

I wish I’d been more open-minded about what “home” could look like. I was set on having a yard and a house with no shared walls. Had I been flexible with a townhome, we could’ve stayed in our old walkable neighborhood — closer to our support network and the things we love, like bike trails, and craft coffee shops.

We didn’t get swept up in post-pandemic bidding wars or endure drawn-out escrow, but in hindsight, I regret how rushed the homebuying process felt. We put in an offer after just a 20-minute tour, already worn down from seeing nine houses that same day. I always wonder if a second tour with fresh eyes the next day would’ve changed the course of things.

In less than eight weeks, we went from our first showing to signing closing documents. So many moving parts packed into that short window left little space to ask ourselves if this was truly the home we wanted.

I also would’ve made a lower down payment. We’d put down 13%, and starting our savings from scratch while taking on a new mortgage payment was terrifying.

In exchange for a bit less equity, having a cash buffer for early repairs and small personalizations would’ve offered immediate comfort and peace of mind.

This isn’t our forever home — and going back to renting isn’t off the table either. But even with all the what-ifs, I’m grateful for what this experience continues to teach me as an LA homeowner.