The summer before my junior year, I signed up to study abroad for four months in London. I’d heard the cliché that people study abroad to “find themselves,” but I had a different goal in mind.
As a lifelong proponent of close friends and tight circles, I saw this as my opportunity to step outside my comfort zone and meet new people, whether that was in my Shakespeare class or at random cafés around the city.
I’d lived in the Midwestern suburbs my whole life before moving to Syracuse (a place that didn’t feel much different) for school. So, in London, I was looking forward to making friends in a new kind of cityscape.
I planned to spend more time with my flatmates — some of whom I didn’t know very well — and expand my horizons in classes and on nights out.
I went into my study-abroad experience thinking I knew exactly what I would get out of it. Instead, I learned how deeply I treasured my time alone.
At first, I was uncomfortable being alone
Chloe Langerman
Though I had a built-in group with my flatmates, we ended up having completely different schedules. I didn’t know anybody else in my program, either, so I left class alone every day and took the Tube to museums and bookstores.
At first, I felt self-conscious being on my own. I would try to pull out a book to read, but I couldn’t focus. I felt like the “real” Londoners knew that not only was I foreign, but I also had no idea what I was doing.
I was all too aware of how I looked and acted. I had seen countless videos online about how Europeans can spot an American a mile away, from the “American lean” to the clothes I wore.
Not only that, I was often glued to my Google Maps, afraid of getting lost — another tourist mistake. I worried I’d take a wrong turn and end up on the other side of the Thames.
Above all, it was sometimes a bit lonely to experience all of these incredible historical sights without anybody to share them with. I would pass by groups of friends and couples on the street, trying to catch fragments of their conversations.
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I felt like I needed somebody else with me to confirm that, yes, I had seen Buckingham Palace, and it wasn’t some strange figment of my imagination.
Eventually, I learned a lesson that I took back to the States with me
Chloe Langerman
As I spent day after day in my own company, though, it got easier to be alone.
I began to love the freedom of going where I wanted, eating anywhere I pleased, and spending time there without worrying about other people’s schedules.
A few weeks in, I really began to get the hang of the Tube and the bus system, and I no longer had to look at my phone for directions. I wandered the streets alone, walking aimlessly.
Before studying abroad, my alone time typically involved watching movies and YouTube videos in my room. In London, though, being on my own felt fulfilling — I was learning something new and making new memories for myself, just by being out in the world.
Yes, I still achieved my initial goal: I met new people in London, and formed closer friendships with my flatmates.
However, when I look back at my time in Europe, the memories that come to mind are those of my solo adventures surrounded by centuries-old art and people-watching through the windows of my favorite café.
When my four months in London came to a close, I left with a new confidence that I could feel comfortable in just about any city, even completely on my own.
