I Traveled With My Older Parents to France As an Adult: Mistakes, Tips | Invesloan.com

My parents love the French Riviera and invited me to experience their favorite spots together. Even though we’re close, I was nervous about traveling with them.

It’s not because I’m 40 and I think it’s unchic to travel with parents once they’ve hit their 70s — it’s that I worry that my camera and my chronic illness make me a less-than-ideal travel companion.

As a travel photographer and writer, I was afraid I wouldn’t have alone time to tap into creative inspiration, or that I’d irritate my parents by constantly stopping for pictures.

Living with chronic pain and a digestive system that flares as soon as routine is broken, I was hesitant to share an accommodation and to make food choices I’d regret.

Still, I said yes. I’d been craving the blinding blue sea, pastel-colored villages, bustling local markets, and fragrant lemon trees of the Côte d’Azur. We chose Nice as our home base and decided to visit Menton, Èze, Saint Paul de Vence, Antibes, Cannes, and Monaco.

My trip with my parents was successful for several reasons, but there are a few things I wish we’d done differently.

I’m glad we chose an accommodation that meets everyone’s needs

My parents enjoy comfortable and central hotels that serve a hearty breakfast. I enjoy experiencing places like a local and don’t mind being further away from the action.

As a compromise, we opted for an Airbnb that was a two-minute walk to the seafront Promenade des Anglais and from several bakeries, so I could go on a baguette-and-croissant run for us in the mornings.

The apartment had a mezzanine with its own separate bedroom and bathroom, so I could have my own space without disturbing them if I wanted to stay up late to work on my photos or if I needed to monopolize the bathroom.

Allowing for a slower pace also improved our trip

When I lived in Europe as a student, my parents would visit often, and we’d spend the entire day walking. Those days, I discovered, are done. Our bodies are not what they used to be, and that’s OK.

We overdid it on our first day, strolling up and down the Colline du Château, to the port, and all through town. When we woke up sore, we had to shift our mindset from conquering to lingering.

It helped that we chose a city that was familiar to my parents; there was no pressure to explore every corner. We’d limit our morning to one area, then replenish our batteries by the sea in the afternoon.

We made sure to split up throughout the trip

As an avid solo traveler, I thrive on alone time. So, I made sure to take some on this trip.

My parents would enjoy sitting at a café while I’d take in the narrow lanes of Old Nice, saunter through the exotic garden perched above Èze, shop in Antibes, or climb the medieval ramparts in search of views over Saint Paul de Vence.

If they wanted downtime and I wanted to go to the beach, we’d split up and reconvene before supper.

It’s unrealistic to expect all travelers in a group to have the same rhythm and interests, and traveling with family is no different.

Booking a tour was a nice break from decision-making

For a change of pace, we booked a small tour by car to visit Monaco and Cannes. It was relaxing to follow a set schedule and to turn off our decision-making brains for a while.

We didn’t have to worry about how to get there or back, and it felt refreshing to listen to our guide and other passengers while we quietly took in our surroundings.

Discussing food preferences in advance was crucial

Coping with a chronic condition means being mindful about what and when I eat, which is difficult to do when you’re with a group.

Having an honest conversation about dietary needs helped us manage our expectations. If my parents got hungry before I did, they grabbed a bite without waiting for me. If I needed a break from gluten, I requested a dinner spot that served seafood — but not only seafood, as my mom hates most fish.

Flexibility saved our moods (and tummies) on more than one occasion. But, at least, we could always agree on getting ice cream.

On the other hand, I wish we’d researched transportation for our day trips in advance

We could have done without all our pacing on the street while trying to figure out the right bus stop to get to Menton.

It turns out that having a general idea of our day trips wasn’t enough; I wish we’d done a little extra research on how to get around and booked our fares accordingly.

I wish we’d looked up restaurants and checked their menus

The most challenging part of our day was deciding where to have dinner.

Though picking a place spontaneously based on atmosphere and tourist-to-local ratio definitely has its appeal, the trip would’ve been a lot smoother if we’d had an idea of some places, their menus, and reviews before wandering the streets with increasing levels of hunger (and crankiness).

Next time, we’ll be better at delegating trip-planning tasks

Our travel dynamics were interesting on this trip — though I’m the more seasoned traveler, my parents were the French Riviera experts introducing me to this destination.

None of us wanted to step on each other’s toes, which sometimes created indecision. On our next trip, I’d love to assign trip-planning tasks in a more structured way.

If everyone plans one meal and one day trip, then the weight of the group’s satisfaction doesn’t sit on one person’s shoulders.

All in all, we still had a great time together

Despite a few hiccups, I had a wonderful time with my parents in sunny France. With a little compromise and communication, we created heartwarming memories that make me smile each time I think of our trip.

After all, it’s a privilege to be able to travel with them while we are all in good health and blessed to get along.